- Boost up my self-confidence.
- Enjoy life more.
- Get to know new people in college/university.
- Get a driving license.
- Lose some weight (1-2kg perhaps)
- Be more organized.
- Try not to be too sensitive over small matters.
- Spend more time with my loved ones :-)
It feels just like a week ago I published a post on Vox, wrapping up 2007— highlighting some important events happened throughout the entire year and with an extremely high spirit tone, talking about new year's resolutions. I did achieve some of them— well, even though my exam results cannot be categorised as excellent, I obviously have done better than the previous year; I did lose 5kg (wait, it’s 6kg!); I did less shopping; I did finish my homework on time (except for maths and add maths. Haha); and I did become… a better person, didn’t I?
Just when I thought I could not survive in school without my best friend Wafiqah (who has moved to Sepang earlier this year), I successfully made new good friends. Not exactly new— I have known them for years but we were just not that close (during those years). I will surely miss them— i) Dayah who has helped me a lot this year in a way I could never imagine, who suddenly trusted me and is willing to share problems and some secrets of hers ii) Tqa, iii) Akram whom Dayah jokingly referred to as ‘Tummy’, iv) Fadhil whom Dayah and I referred to as ‘Brainman’ (haha), and v) Faz who loves making silly yet funny jokes. Forming our own group talking, gossiping and laughing endlessly at the back of our classroom will surely be one of the memories I would never forget. If only Wafiqah was there with us, things would have been more perfect.
Just when I thought I could not cope with all the tense and stress of final year in high school, I survived. SPM used to be the only barrier between me and fun, but not anymore. I DID survive. Those days of having to attend extra and tuition classes, ah, how hectic and exhausting. Plus, tons of homework MUST be finished on time and if not, the teachers will strangle us (kidding). They actually often teased us. Heh, I am glad everything is over now…
Just when I thought I could never forget my former boyfriend, I found someone new. I picked up all the pieces and I started all over again and now, I could not be any happier. I decided not to hold any grudge even though it’s still hard to just throw away what Z did to me. Whatever. Nas and I will soon celebrate our first ever anniversary and I cannot thank God enough for giving the chance to finally, be happy. My new lover (not exactly new now) sure knows how to make me smile and laugh again (this time, it’s for real). Every time I’m with him, I feel safe and secure (not because he’s a bodybuilder— he’s protective). I have no idea what kinda strength God gave me that made me stood still beside him when he suffered from cancer in the middle of the year, when I could just freak out, cry and walk away. No, I didn’t do that, I kept supporting him instead, because he means the world to me and I’m grateful God didn’t take him away…
This year would have been a perfect year if there's no misunderstanding between S who supposed to be my other best friend, and A. I cannot blame fate now, can I? Everything happens for a reason, no? But whatever it is, I still feel disappointed with the way S behaved towards me after the incident— walking away with another friend and often ignoring me. As if I have no feelings *sighs*.
Oh, how time flies, now the year 2008 is going to be a history, a memorable one for sure. I have learnt a lot this year, to be frank and I am now ready for another challenging, more adventurous year. 2009, Here I come!
I'm glad that not only the internet connection is back, but a brand new computer has been bought as well *jumps*.
Since the day school was over, I couldn't find any better things to do other than going out with my friends, watching movies and... shopping. I have wasted far too much money in just one month and maybe I should learn how to stop. Hmm, I have thought of finding a temporary job to earn some money so that I don't have to ask for my parents' that often but so far, I haven't done anything yet (haha). I feel extremely guilty deep inside you know, even though they just gave me any amount I asked for every time I wanted to go out. The idea of me working temporarily right after SPM was once being laughed off by my younger brother and some friends, probably because they assume I ain't capable of doing anything. Heh takpe, takpe. We'll see.
I will be off to Mid V in a few hours time and promise I wouldn't buy anything other than the ingredients to make cupcakes tomorrow. I P-R-O-M-I-S-E.
Yes, SPM is finally over, and that means I officially have finished school today-- ahhh the relief, not to mention the excitement of no longer being a Form 5 student *jumps*. I will no longer have to finish homework on time, no longer have to force myself memorising some physics' laws I am not fond of, no longer have to sit for ridiculously difficult Additional Mathematics' exams, no longer this, no longer that, no longer everything-- for at least 6 months (!). All the burden on my shoulder have finally been eased. Ahah, frankly speaking, I did feel kinda sad right after EST papers have been collected, I swear I could feel tears in my eyes. But I managed to control my feelings though, I don't want to be caught crying or being emotional in front of my close friends again. This is not what I expected at first. I thought I will have the guts to join them celebrating *sighs*.
As much as my uncontrollable desire to leave school, I suddenly find it extremely hard not to think about all the memories I have shared with the ones closer to me these past two years. When I was on my way home, I can't help reminisced back almost every single thing I did in school, and it was like a flashback I often see on TV. Err wait, why do I have to sound so emotional here? I should be happy, shouldn't I? Nah, I AM feeling happy. It's just that, it's... heh never mind.
I straight away went to watch Madagascar 2 with my family that evening, and have had a pleasant day with them. Now, I am really looking forward to hang out as often as I could with my friends. Heheh. Jom?
The exam that will decide my future starts today (!)
I am utterly frustrated beyond words (!)
After over four-and-a-half-years of holding a truly impressive unbeaten home record, The Blues finally fell in the hand of Liverpool, losing 0-1 at the Bridge just now. I do not know how to describe what exactly I feel right now, it's all mixed up...
They must be blind, they must be.
What my Chemistry teacher said to me in school today was enough to complete my miserable day. It actually ain't the first time she did that (saying something embarrassing) in front of my classmates, it's the FOURTH time, you know. I have no bloody idea why she wanted to say such things in the first place, in front of my classroom, with almost 30 pairs of eyes staring at me. I probably would not mind if she wants to hurt my soul by saying such words personally. With my mind flowing away to God-knows-where thinking of my trials result (which is a complete rubbish), I cannot do anything but cried when that teacher embarrassed me. I know the tears could still be stopped if everything went just fine today but the fact is, I am having a bad hair day today, extremely bad, where everything I do seems to be stupid and not right at all.
Frankly speaking, I hate that school, truly I do...
We befriend various kinds of people, no? Some are hypocrites, some are liars, and some only wanted to mix around with so-called cool and famous cliques in school. So often have I seen and experienced it myself; how my own friends turned their backs on me to be with other cliques and never said a word after that. Probably they did say something every once in a while, but it's not the same anymore; it sure feels awkward for me talking to the ones who used to be my close friends but have turned out to be total strangers now. One thing I am thankful for; I feel glad God has shown what kind of friends they are and which group they belong to. Go ahead, I am not going to mourn for your departure forever, I definitely have no time for that as I still have good friends around me who can be trusted and relied on and I will just stick with them. It sure hurts terribly inside, but I am more than willing to let go of everything you did to me. I am not holding grudges or anything, but I know God is fair; just remember one thing, you will get what you really deserve one day...
Form 3 students, including my little brother, will start sitting for PMR examination today till October 17th (this means I am not going to school for this whole week). I did promise him that it would be my treat the next time we go to Kenny Rogers Roasters if he achieves excellent results, which will be announced by the end of December this year. Wishing you all the best, annoying-yet-nice brother!
Went home with an extremely full stomach, after visiting 10 (T-E-N (!)) houses (including mine) around Shah Alam with nearly half of my classmates; Dayah, Tqa, Adilla, Najwa, Maera, Fatihah, Afiqah Laili, Akram, Fadhil, Ayie, Lan and... Arep. Too exhausted I am, after almost 6 hours of eating, meeting people and... eating again. Yesterday was probably our last Eid gathering as classmates...
Well, here are some of the pictures:
At Dayah's
They, being themselves, were loud as always.
Queuing for duit raya.
At Firdaus'
At my house.
At Tqa's.
On our way to pick Arep's car.
Akram buat muka comel. HAHA.
At Atikah's.
Beware of her sweet outwards appearance. Hehe.
At Lokman's.
At Akram's.
At Azam's.
And lastly... Adilla's house.
